so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
