I just cut my nipple shaving
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
