hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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