i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
3pm strippers are depressing
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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