is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
