I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
