I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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