Ambien. No doubt about it.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
