The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
