So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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