hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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