Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Someone shattered a urinal.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize