Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
