at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize