oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
