i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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