New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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