you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
