Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
