so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
