you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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