Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
