So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito