My first STD was from a foam party
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I have demons in me.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.