she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience