Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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