I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.