Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks

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  (704): you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks http://tfl.nu/c3vj
  Replies (49) Good night (4634) Bad night (1376)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone

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  (812): my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone http://tfl.nu/r2zj
  Replies (37) Good night (4026) Bad night (975)
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  (315): View more from New York

  he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate

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  (315): he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate http://tfl.nu/wroe
  Replies (24) Good night (976) Bad night (5156)
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  (+65): View more from

  He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?

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  (+65): He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay? http://tfl.nu/afe2
  Replies (55) Good night (6842) Bad night (2358)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."

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  (810): My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms." http://tfl.nu/qx21
  Replies (7) Good night (1125) Bad night (4061)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.

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  (832): I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin. http://tfl.nu/0104
  Replies (19) Good night (2146) Bad night (3563)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal

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  (713): just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal http://tfl.nu/dg00
  Replies (10) Good night (3627) Bad night (902)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.

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  (248): I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right. http://tfl.nu/unzg
  Replies (10) Good night (1661) Bad night (850)
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  (408): View more from California

  I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.

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  (408): I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident. http://tfl.nu/gd86
  Replies (6) Good night (2198) Bad night (733)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon

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  (651): Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon http://tfl.nu/o3ou
  Replies (5) Good night (1327) Bad night (599)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing

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  (417): After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing http://tfl.nu/he4t
  Replies (11) Good night (1222) Bad night (504)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.

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  (918): I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand. http://tfl.nu/relm
  Replies (6) Good night (1248) Bad night (669)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.

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  (307): I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink. http://tfl.nu/yj2y
  Replies (0) Good night (678) Bad night (351)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.

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  (240): The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off. (301): Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes. http://tfl.nu/qb2k
  Replies (3) Good night (1189) Bad night (396)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers

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  (206): Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers http://tfl.nu/6qq2
  Replies (2) Good night (646) Bad night (386)

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