my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
