Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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