she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Randomize
