How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
