it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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