Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
