i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
