is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just forgot I was standing up.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
