I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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