Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
