chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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