just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
