i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
