you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
