I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
