I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
