His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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