Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
