Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
