Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This is the high leading the old right now
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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