was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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