I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Green mimosas i think yes
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dick very happy bro
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
