So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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