No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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