i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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