I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
