Little spoons don't ask big questions
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize