So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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