Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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