Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
