and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
