Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
