If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
