no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Randomize
