so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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