She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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