I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
