Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
