Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Be still, my beating vagina.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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