My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
